


Signposts

by kelex



Category: Smallville
Genre: M/M, episode-related, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-21
Updated: 2002-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kelex/pseuds/kelex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The future is not set; there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signposts

## Signposts

by Kel

<http://crystalshard24.tripod.com/smallville.html>

* * *

The water had been hot for the last hour, scalding for the last half hour, and still Lex felt cold. 

As cold and clammy as Cassandra's hand had felt in his. 

At that thought, Lex only turned the water on hotter. And stronger. 

* * *

Clark paced agitatedly in Lex's study, waiting. He'd been waiting for Lex for almost an hour now, and all Enrique would tell him was that Lex was "unavailable" and to please wait here. 

Lex had _never_ been unavailable to Clark; in fact, Clark knew that Lex went out of his way to be available _to_ him. The fact that Lex was saying he was unavailable now was really starting to worry Clark, and the next time Enrique ghosted through the room, Clark cornered him. "Where's Lex?" 

"He is currently unavailable," Enrique stated quietly. 

"That's a load of crap! Lex is never unavailable! Did you tell him it was me?" Clark glared at the manservant, stepping close and drawing up to his full height, hoping to intimidate some information out of the man. 

"Yes, young sir, I did." Enrique didn't budge, and Clark had to give him points for that. 

"Out of my way," the young man growled, deciding on the spur of the moment to hunt his friend down. "I'm going to look for Lex." 

"That won't be necessary, Clark." 

Clark snapped his head around to look at Lex as Enrique disappeared from sight. Clark was shocked, and his jaw nearly hit the floor. Red scrub-marks marred the pale flesh that peeked out of the cuffs and neck of Lex's shirt. His face was tightly drawn, eyes pinched at the corners and skin pulling unnaturally over his cheeks as he thinned his lips. "Jesus, Lex." Clark hesitated only a second before engulfing his friend in his arms. "Are you all right?" 

Lex stiffened, but Clark refused to let go. "Clark--" 

"Forget it, Lex! You look like crap. I know you're not all right. You need... hugs. Human contact. Something." 

Lex felt hollow inside at Clark's words. "Hugs can't fix everything, Clark. They can't fix what's wrong with me." 

"There's _nothing_ wrong with you!" Clark exploded, tightening his grip on Lex as he felt him trying to pull away. " _Nothing!_ And I'll kick anybody's ass, including yours, who says there is!" 

"I killed someone tonight, Clark. Whatever... If Ca--the old woman actually saw anything, whatever she saw of my future... it killed her, Clark." Lex finally stopped struggling, and let himself relax in Clark's comforting embrace. "My future is so terrible that she _died_ rather than deal with it." 

As soon as Lex stopped resisting, Clark dragged him over to the sofa and pushed him down. He kicked himself into half-speed, and was back by Lex's side with a drink and settled in beside him, wrapping his arms around Lex as he tucked his feet under himself. "Look, Lex. Cassandra was eighty years old. You didn't kill her. She knew, Lex. She knew when I first met her that she was going to die soon. She told me so, remember?" Lex nodded. "She told me someone close to me was going to die, and soon. And that came true. She died. Not because of you. She knew she was going to die before she even met you." 

Lex held up his hand. "She was holding _my_ hand, Clark. Trying to--see _my_ future." He dropped his hand again. "I'd say that makes it my fault." 

"No, Lex. No. And even if it was... you don't know how many times she'd used her... well, visions, over the last few days. It could have just been the fact that she was doing it one more time, and that's what killed her. Not you. Never you, Lex." Clark had the sudden, odd urge to press reassuring kisses over Lex's scalp. And surprisingly, he didn't find himself repulsed by the thought. "You could never kill anybody." 

"I have before," he whispered softly. "And I almost killed you. On the bridge, if you'd been in my way--" 

"But I _wasn't_ in your way," Clark forcefully reminded. "I went in _after_ you. Pulled you out. Brought you back." _To me,_ he added softly. "What you did before, that doesn't matter. What matters is now, who you are now. What happens to you now. That's what matters. Whatever... whatever Cassandra saw, whatever is in your future... it's not set in stone." 

Lex pulled back just enough to look Clark in the eye. "What was your future, Clark?" 

Clark considered. And then finally gave Lex the honest answer. "An endless graveyard, with the names of everyone I've ever loved on the tombstones. Except... yours. Yours was the only name I didn't see on a stone." 

"She knew, didn't she? This secret of yours... she knew it, didn't she? She took it to her grave, if that's any consolation." Lex closed his eyes and threw back the drink Clark had placed in his hand earlier. Neat Scotch, and that was his father's drink but it helped. 

"Yeah. She knew it. She saw it when... when she touched me. I saw her visions _with_ her. That's how she knew." Clark swallowed hard. This is was the closest that Lex had ever come to flat-out asking or insinuating. "She said she wouldn't tell, that it would be safe with her." 

"I asked, you realize." Lex broke out of Clark's hug to put his empty glass on the low table. "I asked for 'insight' on you. She told me she couldn't help me." 

Clark pulled Lex back against him, surprised that he didn't protest the manhandling. "It's all right. I'm not surprised. I mean, if I knew my best friend had a secret, I'd probably be trying to figure it out too." 

"Will you tell me one day, Clark? Or are you going to leave me in the dark on this one?" Lex couldn't help himself; he stiffened as he waited for the answer. 

"It was never if I'd tell you, Lex. It's... it's just when. And when... is not now. Can you... can you trust me just a little while longer?" The kissing urge was back, and Clark shook his head slightly, clearing it. 

"You don't know how unfair it is of you to ask me that, Clark." He didn't mention the fact that he had been investigating Clark. "You already know my secrets." 

"I know." Clark ran his fingers lightly over the back of Lex's head. "But mine's a little more... complicated than a shady past, you know? Mine's... big." He sighed. "And... just not now. Please?" 

Lex knew how to manipulate Clark, just as well as Clark knew how to manipulate him. "Clark... what if me knowing is the difference between my future turning out to what Cassandra saw and... something else?" 

Clark nodded. "I know, Lex. I thought about that. Believe me. I've thought about that a lot. I just... please. Need your trust. Just a little while longer." 

Lex looked up again. "All right, Clark. You have my trust." 

"Thank you." Clark let his hands fall to Lex's shoulders. "Are you all right now?" 

"Yes," Lex answered, knowing that was the answer Clark expected. Lex was a Luthor; Luthors didn't admit to being scared. He knew Clark knew; he also knew that Clark expected him to deny his fear despite the attempts to get him to change. 

Clark rolled his eyes. "You're not all right." 

"Then why ask me if you don't believe my answer?" Lex asked, voice brusque. 

"Because I was hoping you could stop being a Luthor long enough to be Lex!" Clark sniped back. He moved his hands to rub Lex's back again. "It's okay to be freaked out by this stuff." 

"You're right, Clark. I'm not all right. For the very first time in my life, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of what my future holds, not just for me but for anyone around me. You said that my future didn't kill Cassandra, but she didn't die when she told anyone else's. She died when she saw mine." 

"You don't even know that she saw anything, Lex." 

"She asked for my hand, Clark. And when I touched her hand, I felt a tingle. I know she saw something. And what she saw, killed her." Lex tried to pull away from Clark, tried to get up and pace but his friend refused to relinquish his grasp. Being too close to Clark was setting him further on edge, this knowledge about his future only more proof that he was not fit for Clark's friendship, much less anything else. "Let me go, Clark." 

"You need to know one thing, Lex." 

"What?" 

"Do you know who's tombstone I didn't see?" 

"Mine," Lex repeated dully. 

"That's right," Clark said forcefully. "Yours. You know what that means?" 

"I was buried in a different graveyard?" 

"No!" Clark turned Lex around to face him, physically moving Lex and giving a hint as to what his secret was. "It means that you do not die. I saw the tombstones of everybody I loved... except yours. That means somehow, somewhere... you're still alive. With me. In the future. Us, together." 

"There isn't an us, Clark." There couldn't be. 

"That doesn't mean there can't be, does it?" 

"Clark... it could mean that I am responsible for every one of those deaths in that graveyard." Lex had to say something, anything to kill the hope that he saw in Clark's eyes. 

"Or it could mean that you are still alive and with me. Or still needing me to save you too." Clark touched Lex's cheek gently. "There's an us, Lex. There's always gotta be an us. You said it yourself, our friendship was going to be the stuff of legends. That nothing would stand in the way of it. The future's not set, Lex. Whatever Cassandra saw for you, what she saw for me, those are just signposts. Guides. Not things etched in stone." His grip tightened just a little, still making Lex look at him. "And if there's an us... then I'll never be alone in that graveyard, Lex. And you'll never have to be afraid of your future." 

"What if--" 

"No. No more what if, Lex. Either... either you want there to be an us, or... or you don't. And that's the only two things right now." 

Lex closed his eyes. "And if I say no, Clark?" 

"Then we'll still be best friends." Clark's voice was supremely confident. 

"And if I say yes?" 

"Then we'll still be best friends, and you'll never be alone again." 

Lex opened his eyes, and Clark's face was positioned inches away from his, and he could almost see his own reflection in the boy's eyes. A softer reflection that lacked the sharp edges and dark spots that Lex saw in the mirror, but he recognized himself nonetheless, and his hands reached up to bring Clark's lips to his for a soft kiss. "Us, then, Clark." Lex sighed as he felt Clark returning his kiss, and knew he was lost, forever. Clark's mouth was warm and insistent against his own, and Lex knew then that _Clark_ would be his future, and damn anything that tried to get in their way. 

The End 


End file.
